Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Still here {A Little of the Mom Life}

     Yesterday I had a newcomer to storytime. His name was Jacob and he'll be one at the end of this month. This is super important to the story of my day. It's the catalyst of all my thoughts and emotions. His older brother used to come to storytime. (He's now 6.) Jacob came into the room with his grandma and his grandma said I might remember his brother when he came with his mom. She mentioned their names and it all clicked - probably partially due to the fact that Jacob resembles his older brother a lot.

     And then she told me the news. How last April, the boys lost their mom due to a pulmonary embolism. I don't know this family other than them coming into the library from time to time. And they haven't been in on a regular basis for quite some time (even before the tragedy.) Life gets busy and other things take priority. But I had no clue that these boys' mother had passed away. She was 31. Jacob won't remember her. His brother will, at best, have snapshots of memories in his mind.

     All day long I kept thinking about them. About her, their mom. And how she's missing out on seeing all the wonderful, and not-so-wonderful, things her kids are going to do in their life. How she's not going to see so many firsts, so many smiles, so many tears. She's going to miss out on the laughter of life and the snuggly hugs and kisses and all the silly moments.And those boys. They are going to miss out mommy hugs, kisses, snuggles, advice, tears of happiness, tears of frustration, fun times, not-so-fun times...

     Needless to say I was a bit emotionally exhausted at the end of the day. I just wanted to go home and relish in the fact that I'm still here. Yes, bills are due. Yes, school is happening. Yes, work is demanding. Yes, I'm tired. Yes, I get frustrated. But I'm here. I get to hear "MOOMMMYYY!" when I go to pick up Zoe-bug from the sitter. I get to go hunt down Eli at the Boys and Girl's Club and make him upset that he doesn't get his turn on the X-box. I get to deal with first grade frustration from a boy because I "don't do homework like Daddy." I still get to pour that glass of wine while he's wailing in his room because I tried doing homework in the wrong order. I still get to be told by Zoe that "Mommy, you're yelling." Yes. Those types of moments can suck. And suck the life out of you. But I still have them. I also still get the night time story reading, the hugs and kisses, and the "I'm sorry we couldn't get along earlier" moments (for real, that was a sincere apology from Eli at bedtime).

     I'm still here. They're still here. Good. Bad. All the in-betweens.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Wreck This Journal (#2) {A Little of the Book Life}

Guys, I am loving Wreck This Journal. Seriously. So. Much. Fun. And it's great that Malissa is doing it as well. It's cool to see how we do things differently or the same. It really kinda tells me something about myself when I look at one of the pages and I think "Um... No. I don't think I can do that."(Here's the first post on the journal...)


Example
Uhhhhhhh............... We'll see how that one pans out... eventually. lol


Here are a few pics from this past week's adventures with the journal:
This one is going to take me a while. Mostly because I'm having fun with it and using it as a random doodling page. :)

I started with a glue stick. Then thought I'd have fun with a bottle of liquid glue. It took a while to dry, and it was hard as hell to actually draw with them, but the end result was cool.

I know the instructions say to basically do whatever you want. But I've always been a rule follower. So I tried to rip on the lines. That took a LOT of work. HAHA

I swear I closed my eyes!!!!  I sent the pic to Malissa and told her maybe I should do more things with my eyes closed. :)


                               Malissa has been having just as much fun with her journal! :)

 

Excited to see what other fun we can get up to. 

Have any of you done this? Share your experiences if you have!!!  :)

Smiles,
B

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Assignments {A Little of the School Life}

I completed my first assignment for school. What our instructor calls 'challenges.'  And it was daunting, to say the least. I haven't attended school in 10 years. That's a loooong time in school years. And there were nine 'steps' in this challenge. The first challenge? Nine steps?!

Admittedly I overthink things. Big time. Once I just started addressing each step, noting what needed noted etc etc, all went well. I mean, I assume it did. I felt pretty good about it before I submitted it. I haven't gotten a grade on it yet, tho. But... I did it. First assignment. Done. And I got to talk about movies, and books, and wishlists. The worst part was giving examples of things. But... phew. One down...


Now on to the next... and the next... and the next. What did I sign myself up for, exactly? ;)

Friday, January 15, 2016

Wreck This Journal {A Little of the Book Life}

My friend Danielle got me this book for Christmas:

http://www.amazon.com/Wreck-This-Journal-Red-Expanded/dp/0399162720/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1452810143&sr=8-3&keywords=wreck+this+journal

Here's the Amazon description:
The special limited edition red mesh cover of the international bestseller…

For anyone who's ever had trouble starting, keeping, or finishing a journal or sketchbook comes this expanded edition of Wreck This Journal, an illustrated book that features a subversive collection of prompts, asking readers to muster up their best mistake and mess-making abilities and to fill the pages of the book (or destroy them). Through a series of creatively and quirkily illustrated prompts, acclaimed artist Keri Smith encourages journalers to engage in "destructive" acts--poking holes through pages, adding photos and defacing them, painting pages with coffee, coloring outside the lines, and more--in order to experience the true creative process. With Smith's unique sensibility, readers are introduced to a new way of art and journal making, discovering novel ways to escape the fear of the blank page and fully engage in the creative process.
Have you seen this? Like the inside of it? It's really pretty cool. And pretty scary.

The instructions are simple enough:

And the first page wasn't hard at all...

And then there was this, which was great for releasing some stress/aggression:

But shit got real when I looked at this one -

And what the what?!
Yep... I did it...


When I got this, Malissa mentioned how cool it would be to do together with someone. I sent her one. I agreed. And it's worked. We keep texting each other about it. Like this one, this morning, that I got from her:
"Pretty impressed with myself. I found six different fruit stickers for my journal at my house this morning!" 
And this pic from her:




I'll keep sharing. It's going to be fun!!!!  :)

Smiles,
B



Thursday, January 14, 2016

Seriuosly... I Can Use This One ~ {A Little of the School Life}

Classes started two days ago!!! So I can say "A Little of the School Life". I'm really excited, nervous, anxious, overwhelmed...


One class is a pre-req undergrad course. It's computer stuff. Some of which I know, some I don't. But thus far the readings are simple enough that if I don't know about it I can sort of catch on quickly. We'll see how I feel when I start on the projects for that one.





The other is all about Collection Management. Which interests me, but that textbook is going to be the bane of my existence. Tiny print, NO pictures/graphs whatsoever... not much whitespace. Kill. Me. Now. haha!  Hopefully the assignments won't be as daunting as they look. :)







My son is super confused why I don't go to school. He also doesn't understand why I'm not going to his school. At least that brought up the different levels and types of schooling, so we were able to discuss that and how some professions require different levels of schooling. I mean, he's 6. He doesn't have to plan his life out yet. But it's good to keep that in the back of his mind as he grows. He knows education is important, and I'm looking forward to being able to not only talk about that to my children, but to show them by example.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

1, 2, Buckle My Shoe {A Little of the Mom Life}

My kids are 4 & 6. And they are amazing little creatures. Mostly.



These are my lovelies. Eli, 6. Zoe, 4. They absolutely adore, and annoy, each other.


But let's take yesterday, for example. I'm not entirely certain that amazing would have been a word I used to describe my little bundle of joys. As anyone who has any experience with children - their own or others' - they know that little ones (and big ones) aren't exactly angels 24/7. Don't let those peeps on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter fool you. ;)


So. Yesterday. I wake my son up first. He's the 6 year old. A first grader who loves school, misses his friends when he's not there, but also loves staying home, snuggles, and playing with his sister and cousin. There was a two hour delay when we got up. I got breakfast ready, we went through the whole packing of the lunch routine and getting dressed, teeth brushed, etc etc. I knew there was a chance school would be cancelled. In hindsight, I may not have wanted to mention that to this particular six year old. But whatever. It was time to go. And given my propensity to stay in bed until the literal last minute possible, it was time to go. I say "get your shoes on." This is a regular, nearly daily, occurrence. Nothing new. Eli says "Which ones should I wear?" I say, "Well, there's snow on the ground and it's really cold out, so I would think you would want to wear your snow boots so your feet stay warm and dry." Insta-tears. And I mean a full-on-wailing-meltdown:

"I *sniff* don't *sniff* want *sniff* to *sniff* wear *sniff* my *sniff* boots!"

I suggested he take shoes to change into, even offered to send a bag for the wet snow boots... For the next ten to fifteen minutes (yes, unfortunately it took thatlong), I discovered that (all according to him) his teacher wouldn't let him change into his tennis shoes to wear those at school and that he was afraid that other kids would make fun of him because they weren't the shoes he normally wears. Oh, and my suggesting he wear snow boots was me telling him he had to wear snow boots. Finally, after some *ahem* yelling on my part, some near butt-spanking, he stopped crying, but not moping, and we were out the door. Only to discover ten minutes later that school was cancelled for the day. Elation ensued on his part. (Until I dropped him off at my sister-in-law's house and he realized that, since we thought he was going to school, he didn't have GiGi - his blankie. Whoops.)


And this morning? Another two hour delay. I say "Time to get shoes on," a little hesitantly. I don't know that I can deal with another morning like that this soon. He says, and I quote, "I'll wear my snow boots so my feet stay warm. And dry. I don't want snow in my shoes." I just look at him. He continues on to say, "And since we have gym I'll take my tennis shoes so I can change into them. Can I have a bag for my shoes?" What the - WHAT?!


*sigh*  Ahhh... the joys. I can laugh now. But last nite required a half bottle of wine and some mindless television.



Friday, August 14, 2015

School Bound! (I Hope)

Seven years ago I applied to begin a graduate program to get my Masters of Library Science. I received the acceptance letter in October. When I went through the application process in early August, I had no clue I was pregnant. It was a different story when the acceptance letter arrived. I knew I was due May 4. And the spring semester ended May 9. I didn't think that was a wise decision. Who knew how things would go? So I didn't register and since then I didn't pursue the process any more. Two kids and many years later...

So I've started to get bored. Not that I don't love what I do. I do. I love working with kids, planning story times and programs for them, and helping them and their parents find books they love. But the challenge, I think, it's what's gone. Due to that, I've decided to plunge into the depths of schooling. All I have left to do before I submit my application is write a 750-1500 word personal statement. (Which, I've discovered, is a lot harder than it sounds... I used to be able to do that so easily... but I wrote this thing and realized I repeated myself multiple times... Whoops!)

All that said, I'm excited to start this new chapter in life. I'm hoping that it goes fairly smoothly and that it benefits not only myself, but my family as well.